
Let’s get back to what I don’t know. It is true, in addition to celebrating linens and place settings (ah, and a marriage milestone, of course), I have been feverishly chipping away at my craft inhibitions. It seems I can choose a stunning tablecloth, but can I make one?
Um, no. Not yet at least. But I sure as hell can destroy quality fabric and choke up a Signer (or Janome) sewing machine in a flash.
Etsy Labs once again hosted Craft Night at its new post in DUMBO, Brooklyn. The topic: handmade drawstring bags, an eco-friendly alternative to the plastic bag epidemic. I’m a firm believer that plastic bags are the devil, so I was pleased to plop my butt in front of a sewing machine to double-handedly save our plasticizing planet.
Turns out that the sewing machine is the devil encased in an angelic white shell, hungry and seething for overzealous do-gooders that look a lot like me. Press that pedal and have a go at taming the chomping acceleration Bummm, bumm, bum, BUM! of the beast yourself. As for me, fewer than 10 seconds against the Janome and my gingham was mulched and wedged in its fangs. Then it went to sleep OR, gulp, I broke it! Here’s the tale of my little tragedy.
Remind you of the first time you put your hand to something unfamiliar?
A Sewing Sojourn – Minute by Minute Account
5:10 PM
Shortly after arriving at Etsy Labs, I successfully suffocate one sewing machine.
5:11 PM
Turn attention to learning handout on how-tos of sewing a bag. Realize diagrams are a tad boring. Where’s the color?! I need some real visuals. Ehhhhhhh!
5:15 PM
Measure fabric with nearby ruler to pass time and to appear officially craft smart.
5:18 PM
Redirect energy to resuscitating lifeless machine. Gulp in deep breaths of courage and calm, not allowing embarrassment or fear to trip up confidence.
5:25 PM

Photo from Etsy’s Flickr page. Not surprising to see that in many of the pictures, you can find me in the background (limey cardigan, short brown hair) receiving friendly tutorials by fellow crafters.
Issue still at hand: There’s this errant brown thread attached to a spool on top of machine. I know it needs to go through eye of needle, but where it goes from beginning to end is a complete mystery. Julie!!!!! (Julie, an Etsy employee and craft queen, seems to wear many hats. I’ve had several run ins with her at craft events around New York. She responds to the multitude of emails I send to Etsy as well. Wouldn’t be surprised if the emails are mind numbing, especially the latest edition on whether Etsy has felting needles available.)
Julie can’t help. She’s running Etsy’s Virtual Labs for the at-home crafters. Consult the manual? We all know how well I do with instructions.
5:40 PM
There are so many places the little thread could go. Another deep breath leads to rational thinking. If I built this machine, how would I put it together?A simple question, yet it lifted the shroud of frustration and doubt looming overhead. I was free to let my mind play without restriction or self judgment. The puzzle pieces started to come together, the thread began to slowly wind its way across, down, up, and down again. Finally.
6:10 PM
I hold in my hand a flimsy, crooked-stitched brown gingham sac that, although defective, I exhibit with pride. Handmade with my own brand of persistence, I believe my creation is ready to sell on Etsy. Ok, that was before I took a second look.
Any tips on how you crafted your way through a difficult, uncomfortable situation?