Archive for the ‘Snarky’ Category

When the Art Market Is a Big Bully, You Got to Get Arthletic

A stroll through a high caliber, “blue chip” art fair as seen from this clueless collector.  I know my art, but sure can’t play the collector part.

The Basel Bully - the collectors, the blue chip galleries, the aspirational affluent - take on the art uninitiated.

The Basel Bully - the collectors, the blue chip galleries, the aspirational-affluent - takes on the art market uninitiated.

Art Basel Miami was a bully to my senses. The fair, the 15 satellite exhibitions, the whole production from pre- to after-party was a twitching muscle demanding the submission of all assets  - spiritual to financial – to its needy desire.  It wanted to perform for me; I to perform for it.

You wouldn't happen to be VIP?  Oh, you're notttt?!  As I've been hearing, John, (taking a quarter turn to his left) the blogs have been saying that you have had the most active backroom of all at the fair.  What's the champagne for?  Everything is sold.  (cork pops, both smile).

Overheard: "You wouldn't happen to be VIP? OH, you're not?! As I've been hearing, John, (taking a quarter turn to his left away from Non-VIP Person) the blogs have been saying that you have had the most active backroom at the fair. . . What's the champagne for?" "Everything sold, of course." (cork pops, both smile).

From my 5′4″ shortstuff standpoint, the fair’s muscularity was palpable. For the moneyed and the art afficonado who frequent this premier event, politesse was remarkably passee.  A push here a body check there?  Yeah rah!  A  point on the score board. . . .

The Basel Labrynth where clans of collectors lurk, waiting to strike a move.

The Basel Labyrinth where clans of collectors lurk, waiting to strike a move. (photo credit Artnet.com)

I’m a feisty woman who works assiduously to achieve the utopia of perfected self esteem (HEY, we all got dreams), yet the labyrinthine passageways that cut in and out of the exhibition booths threw me right off that path.  I could not contend with the pulsing, ornery crowds.   At every corner, I was knocked into, clearly  sized up by teems of fellow fair goers, gallerinas, collectors, and would-be elite.  It’s all so performative, theatrical, which seemed unusual until I realized I had gone from the sidelines (art historian) to a main participant in the art market game.

The Basel Blood Clot at fair's entrance.  In just moments, toes will be stepped on, glares will be shared, and an aggressive nudge will strike the unsuspecting

The Basel Blood Clot at fair's entrance. In just moments, toes will be stepped on, glares will be shared, and an aggressive nudge will strike the unsuspecting

In one weekend, I leapt from art appreciator to art speculator.  And so I became arthletic.  I confronted the Basel Bully head on.  I pushed back, got sassy with the gallery assistant who wouldn’t share a work’s price with me, and best of all, I remained positive, knowing that the market can only destroy the artist’s intention, the aura of the work, if I let it.

How would you carry yourself in the art market environment I described?  Would you be disenchanted by the money, the affluence, the art-as-object for purchase mentality?

**As a side note – and I’m ashamed to admit this, though not really –  I dropkicked some art.  That’s right, there was a work installed on the floor and when I walked across the exhibition space, I heard the sickening crunch of art under foot.  Crunchy, cracky, shattery, art explosion!  My quick reply to the jaws on the floor, “Sorrrry.  But it’s probably not safe for the art to be there.”  Classy, uber classee.

Zippy, Pithy Elsa Maxwell Quotes for Thanksgiving

Enjoy the abundance of the season with an earful (and if things get messy, an arsenal) of Elsa Maxwell’s musings on the Art of Lively Entertaining.

Wishing you a supreme gustatory gathering!

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Serve the dinner backward, do anything – but for goodness sake, do something weird.

Someone said that life is a party. You join in after it’s started and leave before it’s finished.

Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores.

Bores put you in a mental cemetery while you are still walking.

A bore is a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. Bores are always eager to be seen talking to you.

I make enemies deliberately. They are the sauce piquante to my dish of life.

Giving parties is a trivial avocation, but it pays the dues for my union card in humanity.

Simon Baker Sews Respect on Rachael Ray

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An unbeatable benefit of living in New York City is the variety of unique opportunities at our disposal on any given day. One of them was scoring tickets to the Rachael Ray Show.  Admittedly, I have never identified with her TV persona, finding the cloying cookery lingo excessive. EVOO FOREVER!

She is a different woman in person – much sharper, all business, and very real.  When Simon Baker came to the show, Rachael drew a wealth of information from this hunky, yet surprisingly introverted star.  She also turned the actor of The Mentalist into a sentimentalist.

When Rachael brought the discussion to Patrick Jane’s trademark vest – a wardrobe selection he believed best suited the character – Baker’s tone abruptly changed from shy to unreserved and emotional.  Sitting up straight and looking the audience dead in the eye, Baker explained the genesis of his appreciation for sartorial sentimentalism.  He recounted with warm reverence how, as a boy, his mother sewed all his clothing, including a pair of swim trunks that performed like Quiksilver’s, yet were made with a love that can only only come from the labor of a mother’s hand.

Baker’s unexpected foray into the domestic scene of his childhood was an intimacy that encouraged tears.  But, beneath the tender moment, I felt a sickening panic rise within.

My future self wants my kiddies to remember the handmade hugs that protected them during their stormiest and sunniest of days.  My present self is at odds with the sewing machine. Even when I do get the beast to hum along, will I have opened Pandora’s sewing box?

By the way, can anyone identify me in the audience snapshot above? Here’s a hint.

Sew Not Happening

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Let’s get back to what I don’t know.  It is true, in addition to celebrating linens and place settings (ah, and a marriage milestone, of course), I have been feverishly chipping away at my craft inhibitions.  It seems I can choose a stunning tablecloth, but can I make one?

Um, no.  Not yet at least.  But I sure as hell can destroy quality fabric and choke up a Signer (or Janome) sewing machine in a flash.

Etsy Labs once again hosted Craft Night at its new post in DUMBO, Brooklyn.  The topic:  handmade drawstring bags, an eco-friendly alternative to the plastic bag epidemic.  I’m a firm believer that plastic bags are the devil, so I was pleased to plop my butt in front of a sewing machine to double-handedly save our plasticizing planet.

Turns out that the sewing machine is the devil encased in an angelic white shell, hungry and seething for overzealous do-gooders that look a lot like me. Press that pedal and have a go at taming the chomping acceleration Bummm, bumm, bum, BUM! of the beast yourself.  As for me, fewer than 10 seconds against the Janome and my gingham was mulched and wedged in its fangs.  Then it went to sleep OR, gulp, I broke it!  Here’s the tale of my little tragedy.

Remind you of the first time you put your hand to something unfamiliar?

A Sewing Sojourn – Minute by Minute Account

5:10 PM

Shortly after arriving at Etsy Labs, I successfully suffocate one sewing machine.

5:11 PM

Turn attention to learning handout on how-tos of sewing a bag.  Realize diagrams are a tad boring.  Where’s the color?!  I need some real visuals. Ehhhhhhh!

5:15 PM

Measure fabric with nearby ruler to pass time and to appear officially craft smart.

5:18 PM

Redirect energy to resuscitating lifeless machine.  Gulp in deep breaths of courage and calm, not allowing embarrassment or fear to trip up confidence.

5:25 PM

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Photo from Etsy’s Flickr page. Not surprising to see that in many of the pictures, you can find me in the background (limey cardigan, short brown hair) receiving friendly tutorials by fellow crafters.

Issue still at hand: There’s this errant brown thread attached to a spool on top of machine.  I know it needs to go through eye of needle, but where it goes from beginning to end is a complete mystery. Julie!!!!!  (Julie, an Etsy employee and craft queen,  seems to wear many hats.  I’ve had several run ins with her at craft events around New York.  She responds to the multitude of emails I send to Etsy as well.  Wouldn’t be surprised if the emails are mind numbing, especially the latest edition on whether Etsy has felting needles available.)

Julie can’t help.  She’s running Etsy’s Virtual Labs for the at-home crafters.  Consult the manual?  We all know how well I do with instructions.

5:40 PM

There are so many places the little thread could go.  Another deep breath leads to rational thinking.  If I built this machine, how would I put it together?A simple question, yet it lifted the shroud of frustration and doubt looming overhead.  I was free to let my mind play without restriction or self judgment.  The puzzle pieces started to come together, the thread began to slowly wind its way across, down, up, and down again.  Finally.

6:10 PM

I hold in my hand a flimsy, crooked-stitched brown gingham sac that, although defective, I exhibit with pride.  Handmade with my own brand of persistence, I believe my creation is ready to sell on Etsy.  Ok, that was before I took a second look.

Any tips on how you crafted your way through a difficult, uncomfortable situation?

Writing What-Not-To: Crafting Your Blog’s Personality

This weekend I abandoned our boiling city to plunk my butt on a weather beaten Adirondack chair in upstate New York’s great North Country.  Lake Placid, a 6-hour Amtrak ride from Penn Station, is a magical place just two hours south of Montreal, and a must-see for all of us living in the East.  It’s so magical, in fact, that cell phones do not work in many areas and people are so busy canoeing and hiking that they seem to forget about the life they could be living online. Shocking.

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I spent 4 entire days without internet, reading, thinking, drinking, and dining my way through the blissful relaxation that is nature (or so a city slicker thinks). The extra time for contemplation, however, brought about a strikingly sour thought I am compelled to share with you.  The thought:  I blog like a sophist, a narcissist, a windbag. Well, this thought wasn’t conceived purely on its own, helped greatly by a voicemail left by a loving, yet very harsh critic of my work. Whyyyy did the Verizon gods pass this message down to me, oh why?

It turns out my critic never read a word; however, I was inspired to take these sour thoughts and make some lemonade.  When you have a minute — or days — to contemplate, ask yourself if you fall into any or all of these personality traits.

Clueless Crafter personalities to Avoid

The Sophist:  A blogger who makes confusing or illogical arguments, sometimes to deceive.

When posting or commenting avoid using language that asserts yourself as an expert if you genuinely are not.  It is key that we work together to spread truthful information in lieu of our personal need to be #1.  Be honest about your knowledge and your experience.

This does not mean that we cannot speak authoritatively about being clueless!

The Narcissist:  A vain, conceited, self-oriented blogger.

Have you been placing yourself in your readers’ position?  Know what their needs and desires are?  Readers can tell when you think only of yourself and when all you care about is your reflection.  Step outside that by using language that invites their participation.  Honor the value of their knowledge, assuming that they know more than you.

The Windbag: A talktative, arrogant blogger who conveys nothing of substance or interest.

Don’t blow your readers away with verbal diarrhea.  They’ll just think your windbag-ness is a huge cover up for what is sure to be a shallow blog. Use the simplest word that comes to mind, always.  Don’t be an ignoramus.

I invite you to think hard about what personality you fall under.  While these categories share common principles, the subtleties make all the difference. How exactly do you miss your target reader? Give your personality a good edit, I guarantee you will craft a reader into an eager follower.

P.S. And, because I’m a very visual person, I could not resist putting these images in.

P.S.S And, oh oh oh, go ahead and give my old posts a look.  See what traps I walk right into. Ouch.

For more tips on writing your blog visit these reputable sites

  • Chris Brogan, new media marketing guru shares a how-to for effective blog post structure
  • Psychotactics, Sean D’Souza knows the psychology of good marketing
  • Problogger, an indispensible all-things-blog guide by Darren Rowse

Selected articles

Glass Etching Leaves Lasting Impression

On this celebratory day forty years after the United States landed the manned spacecraft Apollo 11 on the moon’s surface, I observed my own personal victory by way of a different craft.

It was, however, with depressed spirit that my day started off, begrudgingly aware that I had not been holding up to my declared end of the bargain. But, to submerse myself in a craft that most likely would offend tried-and-true crafters and virtually humiliate me has been a real hurdle to overcome.  In the hierarchy of skilled craft, using a commercial kit and calling it a true craft is similar to popping a Lean Cuisine in the microwave and calling it “homemade,” no?  If so, I’m guilty as charged.  Alas, the snazzy Armour Etch Deluxe Glass Etching Kit brimming with innumerable hokey stencils of jolly snowmen and corny love phrases was at $24.95 something I could afford to write about.

I am not nor have ever been someone who by nature derives pleasure from crafting.  Before this, it was very unlikely that I would have been spotted on the hunt for the next project to begin, thrilled that I had come across a new material or craft resource to investigate.  I am most comfortable in my status as the curious observer who gets joy from mulling over someone elses’s finished work.

A first pass through of the directions, written imperceptibly small and with abundant references to non-descriptive visuals, was enough to warrant a toss in the garbage.  I huffed and fumed at those sly marketers who back when the most recent version of this kit was developed (probably in the 90s as the garish, dated box cover attests) advertised this as “3 simple steps”! BAIT AND SWITCH, BAIT AND SWITCH, I proclaim! (Stick with me because I was and often am bombarded with thoughts of ineptitude when it comes to building things and following directions, which leads to spasms of paranoia and a fair share of grumbling ;-).

IMG_0559 The Armour Etch brochure showcasing a smattering of fancy flower stencils.

Recounting my sentiments and logic, all the above hemming and hawing is admittedly nonsensical, even asnine!  With relative ease, I did create an impeccable rendition of a lighthouse nestled on a rocky ocean shore.  The quaint 4x 4 in. glass image happily reminds me of the famous Twin Lights off Gloucester’s Good Harbor Beach, where my parents live and I enjoy lazy weekend visits.  In sum, the emotion, the satisfaction, the power, and the fear that enveloped me as I impatiently clawed at the last blue bits of stencil hiding the etch from view can be described as one of deep fulfillment.  Below, a scene similar to Gloucester’s Twin Lights:

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A tranquil scene eteched in glass.  Well worth the internal tumult!

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I suppose we all have our judgments, which really are tools we use to hold ourselves back.  From the outset, I judged my ability to create with confidence, fearful that I would be unable to handle frustration and failure should things not go as they should.  Instead, I chalked up any possible incompetence to the hackneyed concept of the at-home crafting kit, which I reasoned would qualify me a fool if I took it seriously and actually tried to do well.  Of course, with this clever equation, I would never let myself down.

Completing this craft exercise banished the Monday blues, etching a surprising last impression.  I, in fact, rather like and appreciate — ah em, uh — kitschy seascapes.  Whoever thought I could be so clueless to not know that about myself.

Etsy Etiquette

Etsy3

Above, a snapshot into every Etsy activity and interest.

Yesterday I joined Etsy, an online community comprising of 100,000 “storefronts” where one can buy and sell all things handmade.  The site is bustling with informative discussion, creative energy, inspiring comraderie, and of course, a large selection of handcrafted items for sale (that’s interesting that the site uses “handmade” rather than “handcrafted.” Is this another case avoiding the use of the troublesome word “craft”?).  My initial intention was to plug the Short Interview section of my site, hoping to get the word out and see if there was any interest.  Under Etsy’s Forum tab I found an area where people can post Promotions, which I thought may be the best place to make the announcement. And so I did.  According to Google Analytics, though, one lone visitor clicked on the link, spending less time than a blink of an eye to read the form.  A 100% bounce rate (a term referring to the efficacy or lack thereof of a webpage’s ability to communicate) is the type of quantitative data you do not want anyone to know about.  Admittedly, I did sense a rather short-lived tingle of excitement that a human — even if only one — actually landed on something of my creation!

Below, the gateway into the Etsy community.

Etsy1

This morning, perhaps in an act of desperate curiosity, I revisited Etsy’s forums, this time sleuthing out another virtual venue to share my agenda.  The Business Topics forum looked ripe for a throw-up (a term in graffiti art in which aesthetics are often sacrificed for speed, producing a large number of tags in order to compete with rival artists) from thecluelesscrafter.  My renegade spirit incited some serious testy Etsy ire.  Withink minutes, I had ruffled the feathers of a couple of early morning message board participants.  Quickly I learned that there are rules to participating in this community, which I had sweepingly disobeyed when I did not do my due diligence to become versed on Etsy etiquette.  It was right to admonish my behavior, which in hindsight now appears 100% non professional and worth the tongue lashing.  Before retreating into my own shame, however, I did my best to mend the fences, aiming to rehabilitate my wounded ego and possibly tarnished image.  I will not make this mistake again.

Below, the transcript of an ill-conceived plan to communicate effectively with an audience.

Etsy

Thankfully I had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, a welcome opportunity to escape the computer, the locus of my very public embarrassment.  No, it was not a head doctor!  Anyways, in the waiting room I came across an article that put much of the day’s trauma into perspective.  The February 2009 issue of New York Family (hope that doesn’t give it away!) profiled a husband-and-wife team who founded Babble.com, a site and magazine dedicated to a new generation of parents.  In the course of the interview, I was able to see what mindset, what actions led them to the success in their professional venture.  What stands out most is that Rufus Criscom and Alisa Volkman are parents.  They know the ups and downs of parenthood, the isolation and frustration that stems from the experience of learning how to parent in today’s world.  However, they did and do not have the answers.  Whether they agree with the logic of what I am about to suggest, I do not know.  What I learned about my personal and professional quest by reading the article, though, is that my journey follows a similar path, fitting the same equation.  If they are immersed in the experience and lessons that come from parenting, I am equally immeresed in the experience and lessons that result from being a non-crafter.  I am aspirational, open to the process of growing!

As is my site and its mission, I too am a work in constant progress.  I am exploring the development of myself, my (hopefully your) understanding of craft, and this site within a context that on frequent occasion does not freely extend mercy.  It is not easy!  As the founders of Babble recognized, and which is something I am struggling to fulfill, is that establishing a voice is of primary import to thecluelesscrafter.com’s success.  keep with me, please…

A Tour of The Clueless Crafter’s Studio!

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A backstage pass into the CluelessCrafter’s studio.  March 2009.

Okay, I’m unsure if the image I’m looking at is is laughable or pitiful.  But it is what it is, so I’ll just share it with you.  As you may  have surmised, this is my crafting “studio”.  Indeed, I revamped(and cropped) this photo from color to black & white with the idea that this would lend a bit more gravitas, a quiet sophistication if you will, to a rather bleak picture.  I also did not want you to know that the cardboard storage box within the larger box is hot pink or that my office is nestled between the radiator and front “hall” table.  Now that I’ve outed myself, let me take you inside.

My work space, as I have mentioned, is located in my Manhattan apartment.  By New York City standards, I live in quite a commodious pre-war rental on a lovely tree-lined block.  In this respect, I feel lucky.  But like most New Yorkers, every inch of space is devoted to the basics of living.  When I decided to craft my way through life and career, I was utterly clueless as to the amount of space required to work easily and efficiently.  As it also happens, crafters need ample storage for tools and materials.

At the time of this photo, I had little to craft with.  This is the list in its totality:

  • Three vials of Christmas-themed tinsel glitter and glue
  • 100 squares of pastel cardstock
  • Swatches of fabric from my wedding planning days
  • Twine gift packaging tags
  • Embossing liquid refill, but not the stamp pad nor stamp mount nor stamps, all of which I did not own for that matter
  • Scottish thistle stencil (which I incorrectly used on my first attempt at embossing.  Don’t ask why
  • Self-healing cutting surface and box cutter
  • A huge sheet of burgundy mat board, which I don’t keep in my studio.  That’s hiding behind my vacuum in the closet along with the cutting mat
  • A sundry of other forgettable items like rechargeable batteries for my Canon A470 digital camera

There was so little material to work with that I was ready to throw my hands up in defeat.  My fortune did change, however, in late-April when the show hosted its annual “End-of-the-Season Giveaway” extravaganza, an event that allows staff to collect leftover items featured on various segments from crafting to cooking to home keeping to beauty and health.  I snatched up a hydrangea-shaped hole puncher and a few books of woodland-themed craft paper –  just enough craft products to reinvigorate my spirit –, allowing me to forge ahead as The Clueless Crafter.

Since March, I have purchased two pairs of scalloped scissors and an embossing pad from Wal-Mart.  I am now eyeing materials for candle making.  Like many of you, I have a slew of mismatched tea cups that I hear are best repurposed into scented candles.  This project will certainly stuff my box full of new craft-specific products!

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And for the sake of comparison, this (above) was the craft studio that I had the fortune of seeing daily on the job.  As you can tell, there are aisles and bins of anything and everything you could desire to have!  I didn’t — and really still do not — know what the half of those products can do.  Shhhh!  I guess there are a lot of companies manufacturing souped up supplies for heavy-duty professional and amateur crafters alike.

In any event, I plan on inviting you back to the studio at a later date for another snapshot into my clueless-crafting world.

Block Printing Bust

Back when the show I was interning on featured a segment on block printing table linens for a spring get together, I was taken with the apparent simplicity of the craft.  As they had reiterated on air, truly anyone could do this inspired project at home!  After all, I had (unlike the rest of the viewers) the great fortune of,  in the span of a single afternoon, seeing the cloth and matching napkins come to life in the studio’s craft room.  From what I was able to gather from the lead crafter’s super-cool confidence as she quietly plugged away at the linen’s repeating floral pattern was that the block printing technique must be inherently straightforward.  Never did she look flustered or irritated; rather, she was the very picture of composure and certainty.  Suddenly, I really wanted to be like her.  I could see within my very near reach, the oneness of spirit and hand that she truly appeared to have achieved.  If succeeding at block printing would offer me the same reward, nothing was going to stop me from doing it.

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Everything about my “craft room” screams of inexperience.

What I had not anticipated was the disparity between what I think the crafting process will involve and what it actually does involve.  Where it took the show’s crafter an afternoon, it took me a whole month from conception to completion.  Let me delineate the steps involved for this first-timer:

Block-Printed Cocktail Napkins How-To-Not According to a Novice

  1. Committ to the craft in mind and spirit.  Initially, this is exhilarating;
  2. Summon up the courage to not only publicly proclaim it will be done, but actually see the project through.  It’s easier to think it’s a great idea but never do it, right?;
  3. Locate a block on which to carve the design.  I used a Mastercarve eraser, which I located in the craft room’s trash;
  4. Decide what image to imprint onto the linen  (Wait, this should be step 3.  The block needs to have enough surface area to fit the design;
  5. Purchase or borrow linoleum cutting tools;
  6. Trace design with pencil; burnish the image onto the block;
  7. Select the color palette for the linens by purchasing or finding household linens to repurpose;
  8. Select fabric paint colors based upon the color scheme of the above selected;
  9. Set aside hours to carve design into block.  DO NOT pick a Scottish thistle (see image below) — the intricacy of the design will equate to many hours of carving frustration.  Someone should have a said as much!;
  10. Ensure that linens are washed and ironed.  If you live in the city as I do, take them to the cleaners and wait for them to be cleaned and pressed;
  11. Commence printing.  If using multiple colors for design, which I now regret, be sure to wash block thoroughly.  This takes time, but lack of patience will equate to a mixed color print.  What was supposed to be a white thistle quickly became pink. . .;
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Detail shot of a thistle

I bet you’re probably glad I’m not writing up the how-to’s of block printing after this! In my words, it seems unnecessarily complex.  As I see the process enumerated, however, I am only reminded of the lengthy process and of the obstacles I encountered along the way.  It is not my intention to discourage this activity, but it is my goal to illuminate the many layers of production involved in a single craft.  The directions that guided me, in retrospect, are now glaringly incomplete and totally unsympathetic to the needs of a novice crafter.  YET, anyone is supposed to be able to do this!  Let me just show you what served as my guide:

Block-Printed Table Linens How-To According to Craft Experts

  1. Print leaf and flower template. Trace over designs with a pencil. Carefully place paper, pencil-marked side down, on a Mastercarve artist-carving block.
  2. Rub the wide edge of a bone folder over paper to transfer the pencil-marked designs to carving blocks.
  3. Use a linoleum cutter with the V-shape attachment to carve the outline of the designs. Switch to a U-shape attachment to carve out larger areas around the designs.
  4. Apply a thin layer of transparent water-based fabric paint to the leaf block with a wide brush. Print on fabric with block, re-inking as needed.
  5. Print dogwood flower as you did the leaves.
  6. Let the fabric dry for about 15 minutes, and then set paint with an iron according to paint manufacturer’s instructions.

I am a smart woman.  I know that the primary goal is to market these craft projects as easy, fun, useful, engaging, and rewarding.  Unfortunately, when it comes to novices like you and me, it just may not be that straightforward.  Indeed, my esteem was not elevated by the many complications I encountered, especially when there was not the slightest mention of what may be a “wrong-to” and how that’s okay and how I should NOT feel bad and how I can correct the mistake.  I just felt alone, nothing like that adept crafter I saw in the craft room.  And, oh yeah, I guess I should mention that her job just may have been a little easier because a) Someone  had already collected the fabric paints, linens and tools for her; b) She had done this many times before with unlimited resources to make up for any errors she made; and c) This is the clincher:  she had all the support in the world, working for a successful company that specializes in all things craft.  Now, do you have that comfort?

Yes, I absolutely admire what this respectable company has done for aesthetics in America, basically creating a history of all things decorative for our children and grandchildren.  Impressive!!!  What I don’t admire is how in pursuit of this lofty ambition, the human element is neglected.  I, a self-proclaimed novice crafter, am looking to build myself up through craft.

When I finally finished the prints, I had destroyed 6 newly purchased linen napkins, permanently discolored my block,and  selected the wrong type of fabric paint.  In my opinion, the results were sub-par at best.  What elevated my lackluster performance, was the fact that I shared the story with you.

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The final product.  Admirable, yet rudimentary and a bit schlocky.

Career Networking in 2009

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of career networking.  And by that, I mean two events.  But, yes, it was an amazing two events, full of  hope and pure delight.  If you asked anyone who attended the Big 10 Networking Event  at Tonic lounge in Times Square http://tonicbarnyc.com/media/tonicbarnointro.html last night, some who have been jobless since September 2008 and some who were laid off last week, they’d say that this is exactly where they pictured they’d be.  If you sense sarcasm, right on. The premise behind attending a networking “event” in a tanking economy is more like being invited to a child’s birthday party where the clown’s face is painted arsenic-white and he won’t stop heinously laughing — at you.  Actually, that clown probably got his job after several failed attempts on the career networking circuit.

Having just finished my Master’s degree a month ago, I’m a newbie to the career networking social hours that are held in abundance in this city.  I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but I think I was looking more forward to meeting a fellow alum and striking up a friendship than I was to opening up the whole the-economy-is-in-the-crapper chit chat.  Within 30 seconds, I had a desperate gal from Ohio State talking economy with me.  She narrated just how bleak it was out there, all the while trying to assure herself and me that this was a spiritual awakening.  She was glad for such life-changing hardships.   Fear was all I registered and now I wasn’t feeling so peachy either.

Suddenly I couldn’t breathe.  She jabbed me in the stomach when I least needed it.  With my bicep still throbbing from the cr-injury I received at the wrath of the hot iron, I was feeling a bit torn up.  How the hell was I supposed to hand out those crafty, embossed business cards with any pride now?  I forced myself to make these with the networking event in mind, after all.  But I mean, people, it’s bad out there.  Did you know the economy is in the toilet?  Oh, you did? Well, I just wanted to remind you.

Once again the Cluelesscrafter.com is my secret.  The only reference to it is now languishing in the bottom of my fancy purse, waiting for the moment of determination to fire up the nerves. . . in my non-gimpy arm, of course.  Then I’ll go digging deep inside, brandishing that scrap of paper with the self-confidence of a woman who just made something of herself.  For herself.